Making Peace with Uncertainty: Three Keys to Navigating Life’s Discomfort

 

Making Peace With Uncertainty

As humans, we often fill in the blanks, though our ability to truly listen is one of the most powerful skills we can cultivate, both in coaching and life. Not only listening to spoken words, but tuning in to the deeper messages, the underlying emotions, and the untold truths that guide us toward change and growth.

When we listen, fully present, whether to the voice inside ourselves, the person we're speaking with, or the energy in a room, we open ourselves to possibilities that might otherwise be blinded. Listening in this way invites us to ask questions that don't just get to the surface but invite inquiry that creates profound shifts.

Coaches speak often of the power of asking questions. But what makes a question genuinely transformative? It's not about seeking a quick response or resolve. It's about giving the question the time and space to settle within ourselves and those we communicate with.

Below, you'll find three types of questions that lead to lasting change:

 

1. Questions that Challenge Limiting Beliefs:
These questions gently disrupt the assumptions holding us back. They invite us to question the stories we've been telling ourselves, stories that may have once served us but now limit our true selves and potential. Questions like:

How does holding on to this assumption serve me, and how might it hold me back? or

Who might I become if I chose not to believe this story anymore?

When we ask these questions like these, we invite ourselves and our clients to look beyond the familiar, to see new perspectives, and to recognize the vast possibilities that exist when we free ourselves from limiting beliefs.

2. Questions that Evoke Vision:
These questions shift our focus from problems to possibilities. They help us envision the future in a way that ignites excitement and purpose. Questions like:

If success had no boundaries, how would I define it for myself?

Which aspects of my future am I most passionate about shaping right now?

By asking these questions, we permit ourselves to expand our dreams, to imagine what could be rather than what's been. In this visioning space, change becomes a desire and a driving force that compels us to move forward with more energy, confidence, and purpose.

3. Questions that Uncover Our Truth:
The answers we need are often within us. However, we require the right questions to uncover them. Questions that help explore deeper into our values, motivations, and true desires like:

Where and when do I feel most alive, and how can I bring that energy into other areas of my life?

What fears or self-doubts could be masking my deepest desires?

By listening to the voice within and finding our truth, we gain clarity and insight that guide our decisions and actions moving forward. It's a reminder that change is not about becoming someone else; it's about becoming who we truly are.

When we ask these questions, we're not just seeking answers. We're inviting a process of deep reflection and transformation. The questions catalyze lasting and sustainable change, guiding us toward alignment with our true selves more effortlessly.

Which questions are you asking yourself today that are guiding you toward the person you aspire to become?


So the next time you're coaching, leading, or reflecting on your life, trust that the questions you ask will guide you far more effectively than focusing solely on the answers or outcome.

With Grace,
Marilyn

Does change and the uncertainties in life weight you down? If you’re struggling and would like to learn more about coaching, feel free to schedule a time to meet below.


 

The Paradox of "Not Knowing"

 

Embracing Uncertainty

The shift from summer's embrace to the brisk touch of fall reminds me of life's ever-present paradoxes and endless opportunities. The leaves change color with assured certainty yet present unique, unpredictable patterns each day. Similarly, while we can anticipate the seasons, tomorrow's experiences and challenges remain uncertain. This duality of predictability and mystery brings us to the heart of our topic: finding comfort in places of "not knowing."

This intertwining of predictability and mystery leads us to a profound reflection: the empowering nature of embracing "not knowing."

In our solution-driven world, there's surprising strength in admitting, "I don't know." While it sounds counterintuitive, particularly in professions that prize expertise, consider this: our most profound moments of growth and connection lie in gaining comfort and embracing the unknown.

The philosophy of the "beginner's mind," eloquently shared by Zen teacher Shunryu Suzuki, captures this essence. It speaks of a mindset unclouded by biases and prior judgments, where possibilities are as vast as the universe.

"In the beginner's mind, there are many possibilities; in the expert's mind there are few."

The International Coach Federation (ICF) also acknowledges the importance of this concept in Core Competency 5.5, emphasizing comfort in spaces of "not knowing," highlighting the power of embracing uncertainty in personal and professional spaces.

So, what potential unfolds when we anchor ourselves in the sanctuary of "not knowing"?

 
  1. In places of NOT KNOWING, there are no limitations to what is possible. Fresh perspectives emerge, and novel solutions are discovered.

  2. In places of NOT KNOWING, I approach situations with presence. This presence fosters genuine listening and deeper understanding.

  3. In places of NOT KNOWING, my mind is open and receptive. I become more adaptable and willing to learn from every experience.

  4. In places of NOT KNOWING, I release the burden of expertise. Without the weight of expectations, I can navigate situations with a lighter spirit.

  5. In places of NOT KNOWING, I'm free from the confines of past patterns. This freedom allows for spontaneous and creative responses.

  6. In places of NOT KNOWING, I foster a sense of wonder and curiosity. Every moment becomes an opportunity for exploration and discovery.

  7. In places of NOT KNOWING, I am not attached to outcomes. This detachment can lead to greater equanimity and peace when facing challenges.

  8. In places of NOT KNOWING, I welcome collaboration. Recognizing my gaps allows me to seek and value the knowledge and perspectives of others.

  9. In places of NOT KNOWING, I am reminded of the vastness and mystery of existence, cultivating a sense of awe and reverence for life.

  10. In places of NOT KNOWING, I embrace the journey of continuous growth. Rather than resting on past achievements, I aspire to continuously seek, learn, and evolve.

By remaining present and truly opening ourselves in the space of "not knowing," we unlock boundless opportunities and insights. Reflection:

  • How does "not knowing" resonate with you?

  • What pressures do you impose on yourself to have all the answers?

  • What narratives play in your mind when faced with uncertainties?

  • How might embracing "not knowing" transform your experience of life?

Remember, being in a place of "not knowing" doesn't reflect inadequacy. It's a call to trust in life's journey, welcoming the boundless insights and growth accompanying such trust.

In these ever-evolving times, our shared human experience sparkles the brightest. I invite you to explore the realms of "not knowing" together. I'm here to support you if you want to dive deeper into understanding and embracing this transformative space.

I would love to hear your thoughts.
Connect with me today!

With Love and Possibilities, Always, 
Marilyn ox


 

The Gift of Grace and Presence

As we enter yet another New Year with so much uncertainty, the word GRACE and PRESENCE continues to emerge. 

Amidst the many challenges we face today, many outside of our control, wonder continues to surround us.

As a coach, I have this beautiful opportunity to support extraordinary humans navigating broad and varied beliefs, challenges, and dreams. Each with their unique journey, experiences, and perspective while desiring similar outcomes. To live life to the fullest.

So much of what gets in the way is our judgments and perceptions of ourselves others. As humans, we typically notice what is wrong. It makes sense because we're hard-wired for protection. We know the present moment is all there is, so if we're focused on the problem or what is wrong, we miss all that is working and beautiful in the world.

Today, and throughout the New Year, I wish you GRACE.

GRACE loves.
GRACE accepts and understands. 
GRACE acknowledges and releases judgment.
GRACE is present and pure.

Grace means that all of your mistakes now serve a purpose instead of serving shame.
— Brené Brown

I wish you PRESENCE:

PRESENCE to create and be in each moment.
PRESENCE understands that worry and fear doesn't exist here.
PRESENCE describes who we've become and empowers us to decide who we want to be.
PRESENCE deepens relationships with ourselves and others.

Your presence is the most precious gift you can give to another human being.
— Marshall B. Rosenberg

So whatever your beliefs, whatever you love, whatever makes you laugh, whatever brings you joy & peace, may you create it, and may it be all yours today, and throughout this New Year, 2022.

Love & Blessings,
Marilyn 💕


 

*If you’d like to take a pause, reflect, refresh, and renew your intentions for the New Year, click HERE to download MY YEAR IN REVIEW.

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